When I was 17 years old, I got breast implants.

I used to be a happy child, living a carefree life with my loving parents. As soon as they divorced and both remarried, I felt to be an outsider looking in, seeking for ways to go.

I recall cutting images from publications, pasting the pictures of female Speculation models around my bedroom walls. They seemed assured and happy. They had big breasts. As soon as I moved in with my first sweetheart, we made sure to have one, although I used to not have a TV at my mother’s house.

I recall cutting images from publications, pasting the pictures of female models around my bedroom walls. They seemed confident and happy. They had big breasts. We never had TV in our house but we got one when I moved in with my boyfriend.

We adored seeing like Baywatch and Saturday Night Live. Recall Pamela running down the beach in slow motion? That picture made his eyes sparkle. I could not blame him, Pam’s a vision. I even got a little obsessed with her, also, as she was the epitome of excellence. How was that possible? And why was I so far from perfect?

Why was she so perfect? It was obvious that it was her breasts.

I used to be hyper conscious of the fact that my then boyfriend adored her breasts and I had almost none. From that moment on, I considered that all my issues would be solved by breast implants. I believed that my life was eventually going to happen for me, although not until I got them.

That is the attitude of a 17 year-old. I got the implants and, needless to say, all these things I thought would happen didn’t.

I didn’t know what was happening, and I couldn’t reach out to anyone. I was embarrassed and I knew I needed help. But I never asked.

Suddenly everybody was staring at me after getting implants. I was defensive and I pouted. I didn’t care. I used to be a teenager. At this point, I had been already numb. Breast implants from inside unsolved the excruciating pain I felt. I believed they’d make my life a charming model of Baywatch as a 17 year old. My health decreased. I developed depressed, and I was exhausted. I recall being a workout junkie before the implants.

After my implants, working out was significantly more difficult. Then one day, about five years ago, I felt extremely ill. It was the same sickness and exhaustion I had been feeling for at least a decade. I’d sweat, but did not know why. No sore throat, no influenza, no cold. I went to bed mid afternoon and hobbled home that day.  I attempted to get up for some water, I could not move.  The right side of my body was totally paralysed. I didn’t know exactly what was happening, and I could not reach out to anyone. I was embarrassed and I understood I needed urgent help. But I never asked for it.

My muscles began to deteriorate, and my heart palpitations led me to believe that I was on the verge of cardiac arrest.

Breast implants made me ill. The pains also would continue for the entire day and even the entire night. They would taper off, and I Had wonder what occurred. My pains made me confused suddenly they would go away. I checked myself into the hospital, my blood tests came all negative. My physician said that I was inflamed, but could not tell me why. He did not offer any help or remedy, only a few diet adjustments. The standard procedure.

My symptoms continued to get worse.

I do remember thinking often times, that I am dying. The crazy part about it? I had been doing energy healing at this time, helping lots of men and women. They all were becoming better, but I was not. I wept so much, I believed I must have already been cursed. There I was, with the present that helped everybody, but not me. My muscles started to deteriorate, and my heart palpitations led me to believe that I was on the brink of cardiac arrest. I cannot tell you how often times I woke up with both of my arms totally dead. Occasionally, I’d wake up choking. I came to a point where I thought I would die any minute and somehow I was okay with it.

It had been then that I ran through an article that changed everything for me. It ended up being a Facebook post composed by Crystal Hefner. She wrote about breast implant sickness and described the symptoms all she felt and why she had her implants removed. When you draw on the handle in the slot machine you know, and every one of the cherries unexpectedly line up? The alarms go off as well as the cash cha chings? That is what I felt when I read the article. At the moment, I was aware that I shared the same illness.

I chose to remove my implants six months ago.

In the event that you have breast implants and are reading this, or in the event you’re thinking about getting some, take a look at informative data and the community on breast implant sickness. See the real stories from real girls. I came across a community of girls who are suffering through the same sickness, and I’m thankful for the physician who saved my life.

Since my operation, I’ve gotten my life back. I will be bouncing back in manners that I never imagined possible, although I still have to take it easy. A part of my life purpose now’s to share this info with some other girls, so that they really do not have to endure the same manner I did.